


Rock Bottom

by orphan_account



Series: Foxy [15]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AU, Depression, Dom Erik, Dom/sub, M/M, Sub Nicky, Subdrop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 08:23:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16036652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Andrew probably has an idea- but Aaron doesn't know- without Erik, Nicky would've fallen apart years ago. Their relationship, whether it was as Sir or as Erik, was the only thing that kept Nicky strong and sane.





	Rock Bottom

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like exploring BDSM without kink - just Dominance & I also felt like writing Nerik, so here ya go :D
> 
>  
> 
> **Note: this happens during Too Good to Be Good For Me (Foxy #1), right before Andreil's third scene. :)**
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I rush-wrote this & was too lazy to reread this, so if you find mistakes, I'm sorry :D

Depression sucked.  

Nicky knew that first hand. He  _experienced_  that first hand. He hated everyone who felt sorry for him; everyone who told him he had nothing to be depressed about. He didn't even tell the twins about it because he needed to be strong for them.

So, he covered it up with hyperactivity – the size of the hole in his chest was usually proportional to the excitement that he put out, and he knew logically, that he should probably deal with it.  

It doesn’t stop him, though, as he babbles excitedly about Andrew and Neil’s new sex scene, because if pretending he was fine was an Olympic sport, he was a gold medallist and a record holder.   

It’s a good distraction until Neil looks at him with a frown and asks – “why are you so excited about this?”  

It all comes crashing down on him, and he freezes, not accustomed to people seeing right through him and being blatant about it. Andrew looks at him curiously, then says the words Nicky was forcing himself not to think about – “Is Erik not coming again?”  

Nicky sighs shakily, swallowing back the impending panic attack. “No, uh,” he rubs the back of his head, trying to remember how it felt to have Erik’s hand resting comfortably there. “He has to stay in Germany for a few more weeks because, uh, flights are expensive. He’s going to try to come next month.”  

Neil looks awkward, the dear boy trying to soothe Nicky with a – “Uh. Well. At least he's still coming?", and Nicky can't help but smile slightly at his attempt.  

“Yeah,” Nicky murmurs, his throat feeling like it's closing up. “At least he is.”  

But the pit in his stomach is back, and Nicky feels like he’s being pulled under an enormous wave. His entire body is covered with chills and he glances around the room, trying to hold back tears.  

“Well, yeah, that’s my idea,” he says softly when he leaves. “See you at home, Andrew.”  

__  

There was an analogy Nicky once made up in his mind when he’d first met Erik.  

Life was full of surfers. Some surfers aced their waves and kept climbing higher and higher until they were pros. Others crashed but swam back to the shore and tried again.   

Then there were the few, who got sucked under by huge waves, trying to find their way to the surface, clawing as they tried to get to oxygen and they just got tossed around by the current of the water instead.  

Nicky was one of the few – and Erik was the lifeguard who always saved him right before he could drown.   

Except, Erik wasn’t here. It’s Nicky’s fault, really, because he insisted that he would be fine on his own. He insisted that he needed to be there for his cousins and would be fine without Erik. He promised to call Erik every day, promised to call Erik when he had a panic attack, no matter the time and despite the time difference.

But right now, he can’t deal with hearing Erik’s voice, not yet, anyway. He holes himself up in his room – heart hurting and craving for Erik’s touch. He can’t concentrate, can’t think, his head is a mess and there’s no one to clean it up.   

There’s a pressure on his chest that doesn’t really go away. It makes him feel like he’s running out of oxygen, like he’s drowning, but he doesn’t admit it. Aaron tries to get him to  _do_  something, but Nicky physically cannot. He can’t move, and sometimes, he can’t breathe.  

Crying becomes a necessity to try and lessen the heavy feeling in his chest and he feels disoriented, out of it. He forgets what it was like to be happy. He can’t remember the last time he ate, and just thinking about food makes him want to throw up.  

He’s  _tired_  of faking happy. He’s tired of being ‘okay’. He’s  _tired_  and he wants Erik and he wants to sleep and never get up.  

He closes his eyes and lets the waves wash over him, and this time, there isn’t a lifeguard to save him.  

__  

When he wakes up from nightmares, Erik is there. It happens often, when Nicky’s deep in his mind, he hallucinates Erik, which makes him miss his boyfriend even more.  

“Nicky,” fake-Erik murmurs sweetly, his voice so deep, and Nicky closes his eyes, pressing closer to him. His warmth almost feels real, and it makes him cry. “Baby.”  

He hates how real this feels. How could he ever think he could do without Erik?  

Erik moves slightly, and Nicky blinks, disoriented, as dream-Erik pushes him onto his back and hovers over him, his warm hand roaming Nicky’s face, neck, chest.  

“Baby, when was the last time you ate?” Erik’s voice is so calming, and Nicky closes his eyes, willing him to go away because it just hurts more. “Nicky, did you take your meds?”  

“You’re not real,” Nicky hugs himself tightly and shuts his eyes tight. “Please go away, you’re not real.”  

“Schatzi,” Erik’s voice was firm. “Open your eyes.”  

Nicky whimpers, shaking his head because he doesn’t want to open his eyes to see that he’s alone in the room. Then he feels a soft brush of air and lips touching his own.   

A heavy body covers his own and it feels so  _real_  because the weight is holding him down and the lips are tickling his. Nicky lets out a soft sound, his lips parting and Erik kisses him firmly, his fingers rubbing Nicky’s head and Nicky opens his eyes to see Erik’s beautiful blue ones staring back at him, and something in his chest just loosens.  

“Sir,” Nicky gasps out, before pulling Erik harder to him and slotting their mouths together in a frenzied, wet kiss. Nicky moans into Erik’s mouth, wrapping his legs around Erik’s firm body, holding him tightly.   

Erik doesn’t let it get too deep, pulling away, thumbing at Nicky’s tears. “Schatzi, I told you to call me when you’re in sub drop,” Erik murmurs. “The twins said you haven’t been eating.”  

Nicky sniffs, pulling Erik close and breathing in his warmth. Erik always smelt like cocoa butter, and Nicky loved it. Erik holds Nicky close, nuzzling him, but Nicky knows it wouldn’t last long. Erik was a good, stern Master and Nicky loved the hell out of him.  

“Liebling,” Erik says seriously as he pulls away. “Love, talk to me.”  

“I missed you,” Nicky gasps out almost immediately as if the words were on the tip of his tongue all the time. “Sir, I missed you so fucking much.”  

“Nicky,” Erik says softly, and then leans down to kiss him again and Nicky breathes shakily into the kiss. Erik fits so perfectly against him. Erik was so easy, so straightforward, so firm and unyielding. Nicky feels his mind clear as Erik takes him apart slowly, and he blinks sleepily up at Erik as if now seeing him.  

“Sir, how are you here?” he whispers in wonder, wishing he could have this every day – Erik’s hard body pressed against his and Erik’s lips trailing across his skin.   

“You have your cousins to thank for that,” Erik murmurs, and Nicky smiles slightly because knows despite how much Andrew threatens him and Aaron tells him he’s too flamboyant, they’ll always have his back. “When was the last time you ate, Nicky?”  

Nicky blushes, averting his gaze. He’s not even sure what day it is because he can’t remember the last time he left his bed. “I, uh,” Nicky clears his throat, and Erik sighs softly, pressing his lips against Nicky’s forehead.  

“It’s Saturday, sweetheart,” Erik reminds him gently, and Nicky chews his bottom lip. “Aaron said you’ve been out of it since Monday.”  

“I ate a cookie on Wednesday,” Nicky winces as he remembers, blinking. “But I threw up right after.”  

Erik shakes his head, rolling off Nicky and standing. “Come on, schatzi, I’ll make you soup.”  

Nicky feels weak as he moves to sit, his entire body buzzing with unused energy and tiredness. He feels like  _shit_ , and wants to curl up in a ball, but Erik doesn’t let him. He slides his hands under Nicky’s legs, lifting him up effortlessly.  

“You’re strong for everyone but yourself, mein liebling,” Erik murmurs and Nicky presses his head against Erik’s chest. “Let me take care of you.” Nicky listens to Erik’s steady heartbeat, feeling himself calming.  

Andrew probably has an idea- but Aaron doesn't know- without Erik, Nicky would've fallen apart years ago. Their relationship, whether it was as Sir or as Erik, was the only thing that kept Nicky strong and sane. And that heart- that heart was the heart that loved him irrevocably.  

“Always, Sir,” Nicky promises as Erik carries him to the kitchen.  

“Can you get on your knees, sweetheart?” Erik asks softly, and Nicky nods. Erik lets him down and Erik places a cushion for him on the ground. Nicky slides to his knees, feeling something settle in his chest. Erik leans down and kisses Nicky’s head and Nicky’s heart flutters.   

He keeps his eyes on Erik as he breathes slowly, trying to etch the vision of Erik moving efficiently about his kitchen into his mind. Erik is so lovely and Nicky watches as Erik’s strong arms chop and sauté onions, before adding flour and mixing it up. Nicky’s mind relaxes, finally free from being under a ton of pressure, just from Erik’s calming presence in the room.   

He doesn’t know how long it is before Erik’s dragging a gentle hand through Nicky’s hair. “Have a seat at the table, sweetheart,” Erik says softly and Nicky nods, going to the table. Erik places a steaming bowl of broccoli and cheddar soup and Nicky’s stomach growls as he smells it.  

“It looks delicious, Sir,” Nicky murmurs and he takes a tentative sip. It  _is_  delicious, and Nicky practically shovels the food into his mouth.  

“Slow, schatzi,” Erik laughs, rubbing Nicky’s back and Nicky obeys. “Eat it slowly. You haven’t eaten in days.”  

Nicky sips the soup, sighing as it fills his belly with warmth, Erik’s hand hot on the back of his neck, his eyes on Nicky as he eats.  

When Nicky’s full, he pushes away the rest of the soup, glancing up at Erik. “I’m sorry, Sir,” he says softly. “I should’ve called. I didn't call you like you told me to whenever I missed you. I thought it would hurt too much so- so I just let myself go into sub drop without caring, but I just fucking missed you, Sir. I should’ve-“  

“Nicky,” Erik says firmly. “I missed you too, sweetheart. So much. I worry so much about you,” Erik murmurs, and Nicky lowers his eyes. “You’ve been doing such a good job taking care of yourself.” Nicky scoffs and Erik’s hand tugs lightly at Nicky’s hair, forcing him to look at his boyfriend. “You  _have_. No one’s perfect, and this is just a bump in the road, but I’m proud of you, love.”  

Nicky blushes, ducking his head. “Where are your meds?” Erik asks softly, and Nicky tells him. Erik goes quickly to get them and a glass of water. Nicky shakes some out in his hand, swallowing it quickly. He hated taking them; Erik’s voice was a much better option.  

Nicky slips his eyes shut, leaning against Erik’s shoulder. “I’m still not sure if this is real, Sir,” he confesses quietly, and Erik kisses his head.  

“I know, sweetheart.” He turns and cradles Nicky’s head. “Let’s get you in the bath, darling, and let me take care of you, okay?”  

Nicky nods, and Erik supports his weak body as they make their way to the shower. Erik opens the tap and lets the bath fill, steam blossoming from the water.   

“Can I undress you, Sir?” Nicky asks softly, and Erik smiles, knowing it’s one of Nicky’s favourite things to do. Erik rubs a thumb over Nicky’s lower lip, kissing his forehead.  

“Get undressed and you can, liebling,” Erik murmurs and Nicky immediately shucks off his clothes, standing unashamedly naked in front of his boyfriend and Dom. Erik drops his arms to his sides and Nicky ducks his head, smiling as he flushes.  

He reaches out and unbuttons Erik’s shirt slowly, pushing it off his shoulders. He folds it, placing it on the closed toilet. He trails his fingers over Erik’s bare chest almost reverently, not lingering, but still revelling in the feel of his strong heartbeat under his palm.  

His hand trails worshipfully over Erik’s abs, unbuckling his belt and placing it on to of the folded shirt. The pants are the next to go, and Nicky pushes them down slowly, till he’s back in his favourite position, his knees pressed against the cold tile. He lifts Erik’s feet gently as he takes off his trousers, folding them and placing them on the shirt and belt.   

He bites his lower lip as he glances up at Erik’s bulge, nicely wrapped in black cotton and Nicky resists the urge to reach out and press his tongue against the tip. He missed having Erik’s cock in his mouth, missed choking on his length and being face-fucked until he cried.  

His cock thickens between his legs just at the thought of it. Erik’s cock was a masterpiece, a work of art. Nicky grips the band of Erik’s briefs, pulling them down his long, strong legs, mouth watering as he’s face to face with Erik’s beautiful cock.  

He’s uncut, his cock a gorgeous nude shade with veins embossed under the loose skin, and Nicky always loves slipping his tongue under the foreskin and hearing Erik lose control of his reactions.  

“That’s enough, baby,” Erik murmurs, drawing Nicky up, not even giving Nicky’s hardening cock a glance as he takes one of the Lush bath bombs from the shelf. Nicky always stocked up on Butterball bath bombs because the scent reminded him so much of Erik.  

Soon, he’s soaking in the warm, cocoa-butter scented water, enveloped in Erik’s arms. His mind finally settling fully, and he finally feels like he’s in complete control of himself as he cranes his neck to look at Erik. “Thank you, Sir,” he murmurs and Erik smiles, stroking Nicky’s stomach.  

Nicky turns over, resting his head against Erik’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, wrapping his arms around Erik’s waist and for the first time in a week, he willingly sinks.  

__ 

When Nicky finally opens his eyes, he feels rested. He wasn’t out for long, because the water’s still warmish. Erik’s fingers are trailing down Nicky’s spine, as he holds him close. 

Nicky glances up and sees Erik gazing at him with the fondest expression ever. His heart skips a beat as Erik’s fingers grip his chin, pulling him up for a soft kiss, and Nicky moans, pressing closer to Erik. 

“Sir,” Nicky pants, all disgusting remnants of his breakdown washing away and he’s left with the small burning fire of arousal. He rocks his cock against Erik’s and it fans the flames, making them explode in him.  

“Nicky,” Erik murmurs, in full control of his body as Nicky grinds against him. His fingers stroke Nicky’s cheek as Nicky grinds against him. “Schatzi, what do you want?” 

“Fuck me, Sir,” Nicky begs, pushing his face into Erik’s moist neck, the water swashing around them. “Fuck, I missed you so much, I missed your cock in me. Please, Sir, I need you.” 

Erik tugs at Nicky’s hair, pulling him up to press their lips together gently. “How are you feeling, darling?” he asks softly, and Nicky kisses him until it hurts. 

“Horny,” Nicky groans, their slick cocks sliding against each other in the water. “My brain isn’t a mess anymore. I can think straight, and I really want you to fuck me until I can’t  _speak_ , Sir.” 

Erik laughs lowly, the sound sending chills chasing across Nicky’s warmed skin. Erik reaches up and grabs the baby oil on the shelf, slicking his fingers and sliding two into Nicky without warning, the water rippling around their bodies.  

Nicky gasps, fingers digging into Erik’s shoulders, whimpering as Erik’s fingers probe his hole, curling and stretching him out. It feels so good, so much better than all the Skype sessions with Nicky on his knees and opening himself up for Erik while Erik jerks his cock, giving Nicky low encouragements and praises. 

Nicky dips his head into Erik’s shoulder, teeth sinking into the curve as he rocks his aching cock against Erik’s abs, feeling Erik’s hard erection pushing at his balls. “Sir, I missed you,” Nicky whimpers and Erik adds another finger, extracting a choked sob out of Nicky.  

“I missed you too, schatzi,” Erik growls, his strong arm wrapped around Nicky’s waist as he holds him firm. “I love you so much, Nicky,” he presses their lips together roughly and Nicky groans, rocking against Erik’s probing fingers. 

“I love you more, Sir,” Nicky gasps out, and then Erik’s fingers are gone and his cock is sliding hotly into Nicky, completely unexpected and making Nicky choke in surprise as Erik’s balls press against his ass. 

His cock is so thick and it fills him up so much and Nicky sobs as Erik’s fingers clutch his ass, forcing Nicky to move. Nicky rolls his hips, Erik’s cock dragging along his prostate and making him see stars. 

Lust blinds him as he sets a hard pace, fucking himself onto Erik hard, the water swashing around them and spilling over the sides of the bathtub. Nicky doesn’t care – can’t care because Erik’s throbbing cock feels ridiculously good in him and he can’t remember the last time he’s felt so  _complete_. 

He wraps his arms around Erik’s neck, keeping their torsos close as he drives Erik’s perfect cock into his prostate, whimpering into the hard kiss Erik claims him with. 

“Fuck,” Nicky pants out, and Erik wraps a hot hand around his cock, gripping him firmly and Nicky sobs. He’s close already because he hasn’t even managed an erection for the past week, and Erik’s fingers are stroking him deftly.  

Erik’s next hand grasps Nicky’s neck, holding him firmly to remind him whom he belongs to, and Nicky whimpers because it makes him even harder.  

It doesn’t take long, with Nicky riding Erik hard and the water aiding his way, Nicky comes explosively after Erik’s deep voice commands him. He cries out loudly, jerking against Erik, his cum spilling in the scented water. 

Erik grunts, his hips holding Nicky down as he kisses him roughly and Nicky sobs in the kiss as he feels Erik coming in him. “Fuck,” Nicky whimpers against Erik’s lips because Erik’s cock twitching in him is everything he needed. “Fuck Sir.” 

Erik groans, fingers rubbing Nicky’s wet skin, trailing over him and leaving goosebumps in their wake. Nicky sighs happily, sinking into Erik’s embrace and holding him tightly. 

As much as he doesn’t want to, he allows Erik to lift him up and drain the bath, turning on the shower and bathing Nicky before cleaning himself up as well. He carries Nicky into the bedroom and wipes him off in a big fluffy towel, helping him to dress. 

“You always take so good care of me, Sir,” Nicky murmurs as he’s helped into one of Erik’s jerseys that came straight out of his suitcase. He feels so nice and warm by the time he’s in his bed, watching happily as Erik gets dressed as well. 

He frowns, remembering his phone, rolling over in his bed and shoving his hand down the space between his bed and the wall, looking for where his phone had fallen. It’s dead when he presses the power button so he plugs in the charger. As soon as it comes on, it pings with dozens of messages and notifications of missed FaceTime and Skype calls from Erik. 

“Sir,” Nicky says in horror, glancing back at Erik who just smiles slightly. 

“Let’s just say if your cousins hadn’t called me, I’d be here nevertheless,” Erik promises, leaning down and kissing him. “I have something for you, sweetheart.” 

Nicky blinks, locking his phone and vowing to respond to all the messages later. Erik smiles slightly. “C’mere, schatzi,” he says gently, and he doesn’t even have to elaborate before Nicky’s sliding off the bed onto his knees in front of his Dom. “I want to give you something to remind you that I’ll always be there for you,” Erik says softly. “I wish you’d stayed in Germany with me, but I’ll never force you. And I love you even more for coming to take care of your cousins, for being so strong for them.” 

Erik strokes Nicky’s hair, thumb rubbing Nicky’s red cheek. Nicky loved that he didn’t have to pretend around Erik. Never had to, and Erik still loved him unconditionally. Nicky turns his face into the caress, Erik’s warm hand cupping his face. 

Erik takes his other hand from behind his back and reveals a small flat box. When he opens it, Nicky’s eyes widen when he sees the thin, flat leather collar.  

“Liebling, I want you to wear this when you need to,” Erik says gently.  

“Yes Sir,” Nicky gasps, wanting to reach out and grab it but he keeps his arms by his side. “Put it on me, please sir,” he begs and Erik laughs lowly, taking the collar and buckling it firmly around Nicky’s neck. 

Nicky sighs slowly, loving how it feels and he reaches up and grazes his fingers along the collar. Erik crouches in front of him, fingers gripping Nicky’s chin. “Baby, I know that it isn’t a conventional relationship and that the distance is hard, but I love you so much. It will get easier soon,” Erik promises, and Nicky smiles. 

“I know Sir,” he says, heart pounding happily because Erik’s collar is around his throat. “I love you so much, Erik,” he says and Erik smiles widely, before drawing Nicky up.  

He buries Nicky under the covers and then slips under himself and Nicky cuddles close to his Dom and goes deeply into sleep almost immediately.  

**Author's Note:**

> Schatzi - treasure  
> Liebling - love  
> Thanks Andrw_Jstn for helping me with the German translations, I liebe you a lot!


End file.
